Living Outside Your Comfort Zone

This is a common theme of mine because as the title suggests, it never gets any easier but always worth the discomfort. Spent a half hour yesterday in my car trying to connect with the emotion in track songs. Then got to scream at the top of my lungs at certain parts in songs. Can’t even imagine what the people walking by though but the wise person with me responded F them when I voiced the concern.  So as I taught class today I tried to show my personal side by revealing that I’m a …teacher and mom.. to show my love of pump; and to connect to the music…the calm and the crescendos…To relax and flow, motivate and encourage. To not think, just feel…to live outside my comfort zone.

The Times They Are A Changing

Today was a historic day for true love. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that gay marriages are legal in all 50 states. Truly a momentous event for the country because love is love. You can’t dictate how you feel about a person and the government certainly has no business in dictating who one can or can not marry.  This is also the summer of Caitlyn “Bruce” Jenner and the transgender movement…Allowing people to be on the outside what they feel on the inside. It’s a powerful thing.. to embrace who you are or find the strength to live your life authentically and not by the standards of others.

For me it’s about reclaiming  my voice and pursuing what makes me happy and bringing joy to others. It’s about loving my kids enough to let them go ( a little bit) so they can figure out who they are. It’s about loving unconventionally because the purpose of love is to lift someone higher and to give them wings to soar because they are loved unconditionally.  It’s about embracing new standards of beauty, power and strength.  Whether you agree with her politics or not, the United Sates in 2016, will have the first viable female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton.  Amen!! Girls need to be taught that it is ok to speak up, be smart, and be strong, inside and out.

Times, they are a changing.. Maybe not fast enough for many. Racial inequality and poverty are still issues plaguing this country. Our governor would rather spend millions of dollars financing a standardized test even though he revoked the Common Core Standards on which it is based, bad mouthes the profession and underfunded our pension instead of encouraging young people to enter the teaching profession.  I hope the passion my daughter currently possesses as she pursues her teaching degree is not diminished by the politics and bureaucracy which surrounds it.

But times they are a changing..

Come gather ’round people wherever you roam and admit that the waters around you have grown and accept it that soon you’ll be drenched to the bone if your time to you is worth Savin’ then you better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like a stone.. For the times they are a-changin’… Bob Dylan

Chase the change.. Always!!

Living Intentionally

• I took back my life!! A whole new year starts tomorrow! These are my intentions..
• To live life authentically
• To love my children with all my heart .. Easiest thing on list and takes no effort❤️❤️
• To be badass always
• To learn something new everyday
• To love myself a little bit more everyday
• Crush my CXWORX tracks
• Inspire others to become strongest version of themself
• 

Going Outside My Comfort Zone

Chaos. Being uncomfortable. Being comfortable being uncomfortable. So not my thing. No one likes rejection but I especially take everything personally. As I once told my good friends, I feel guilt for Jesus’ crucification. So as another year of my life passes, I am learning, finally,  to find comfort going outside my comfort zone. It is not easy. In fact it scares the shit out of me but I am determined to achieve the goals I have set for myself.  I firmly grasp that we are only given one life to live. I chose to live mine passionately and actively. Even if it scares me. I have learned not to be reckless but to instead pursue the things I am passionate about. And to finally find a passion! I have looked a really long time for that thing. That thing that brings me joy and personal satisfaction. I have. Teaching group fitness through Les Mills.. Being part of a wolfpack has done that. I have also learned that only I can chase my dreams. I have to actually believe I can and actively pursue what I want. No one will hand me anything on a silver plate and I’m OK with that. I want to earn my place whatever that place may be. Tonight I hit a PR dead lifting by working my way back from an injury. No one else did that for me. I had help from an amazing trainer who never gave up on me and patiently worked with me because he knows how much I crave the challenge and how much I love lifting. Only I can believe in myself and in the end that is what gets the job done. What an amazing concept that no matter the age we can grow, love and feel a self of accomplishment. I just have to believe.

Facing Fears Because I am Worthy

I am worthy. A very difficult concept to grasp but I am trying. I am worthy of good things happening . Worthy of happiness, love and all the other good things come my way. I’m worthy because I work hard, I try to play by the rules and I really do try to be kind to others. Those I care about I love deeply and will do anything for.  I am sensitive and moody. My emotions shift like the phases  of the moon. Makes sense since I am a Moon Child. Today I attended Ground Works, a Les Mills masterclass/educational opportunity. The energy and positive vibes filled the room. Plenty of Ah ha moments. I am working very hard to improve my technique and coaching. So I am worthy of whatever good things emerge from the opportunities I create for myself. I will overcome my fears and confusion. I will realize I can’t control or understand the behavior of others. Really,  I am afraid of everything., failure, ridicule, of never being good enough, of never being loved.  I will face my fears head on and remember that I am worthy. I will trust my heart and be my authentic self. I will repair all the broken parts of me and continue to heal and grow.

Body Attack, Fight Song and Groundworks

What do Body Attack, Fight Song and Groundworks have in common? Groundworks is an opportunity to grow and learn, to improve my coaching and teaching, and to connect with others who share a passion for creating a fitter planet. Body Attack, although not a program I could ever be certified in, is a sports inspired athletic cardio class. I took it today for the first time since Jan and forgot how much I enjoyed it. The fast pace,  happy feel got my heart rate racing and pushed me in a different way then Pump or CX. Although lifting heavy shit is my love, I also love the balance that other Les MillsMills programs  provide in creating a fitter, stronger me. Becoming a fitter me has played an essential role in taking back my life..in reclaiming me. It only takes a small ripple to affect change.. To take back your life and set things in motion. Non of this is easy for me because I am a natural introvert so I will face my own insecurities and fears and go outside my comfort zone. Tomorrow I will be a sponge..absorb, learn, observe and grow so that can be that ripple that encourages someone else to make waves in their own life which creates  an explosion that leads to stronger, fitter, healthier them. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it!!😂🌞💗

Schools Out for Summer

This is the first summer in many years that I am not working or doing anything school related so I’m going to try to do the most difficult thing for me…relax. Relaxing is not something I do well. I do not like unstructured time. I like to be busy ..to have purpose. Having said this I do plan to be busy, helping my mom at home care for my step dad, reading, museum going and hopefully going to my second favorite place, the Jersey shore. But who am I kidding most of my time will be spent at the gym. My favorite place. First goal- learn the rest of my CXWORX release; second-tape, 3rd learn Body Pump 94. I do having subbing dates lined up and am going to actively pursue more.  Maybe I’ll use the time for some professional development on my own or investigate getting my PT certification. Mostly I will take each day one at a time, appreciate the small pleasures in life and work on becoming the strongest version of my self. This Saturday is Groundworks, an educational Les Mills workshop with master classes led by a master trainer followed by an informational session. I’m excited for the opportunity to learn, grow and be in the presence of people who share the same passion I do. I am going to use this summer to focus on myself and nurture my mind, body and soul.

Lift Like a Girl

   So many Ah Ha moments tonight! It started when I hit my first power clean since March. Words can’t even describe how much I missed it or how good it felt when I cleaned it. And no pain in my wrist or ankle!! WOOHOO!! Amazing what you can do when you listen, breathe and focus, I wish I had the words to explain the adrenaline rush after the execution and the rush of knowing what your body is capable of doing.  I have looked in so many places for The Thing..  The thing that makes me complete .. I found it on the gym floor with a barbell in my hands. And heavy weight. Some days I kick myself for not discovering it sooner but maybe I wouldn’t have appreciated it as much as I do now. It is about the journey and the events in our life that brings us to where we are now. Strength and perseverance are what I need at this moment and I found a tool that helps me hone them.  Timing is everything.. Having the right people enter your life at the right moment, finding courage to make big changes, and allowing yourself to enjoy and take in the moment. To just savor that small moment in time when you are BEAST because you had a barbell in your hand.. Who would have ever though … ROFL 

Be a wolf be a lion

Sunday night and exhausted. Completed my usual Sunday workout but now with a twist. Taught the first 3 tracks of CXWORX, took Body Combat and ended up teaching Body Pump on my own…friends always have each other’s back.  Trying to keep my goals in sight (smash them) and focus on the reason behind them..to become healthier, stronger, fitter and….to find my voice.  That is really the hardest part. Not my coaching voice or teaching voice but my authentic, passionate me voice. It existed  a life time ago but as it continuously went unheard and as I took on role of peace keeper at home and work that voice once opinionated and  passionate receded further away. Getting it back is an important part of my journey. Instructing is helping me do this. I can hear the passion return to my voice as I get more and more comfortable teaching and I feel the love of what I’m doing and my desire to help others become fitter, stronger, healthier. I can’t let my feelings for others or self doubt get in the way or throw me off course. I WILL roar like a lion and I will protect my pack like a wolf, I just don’t want to be a lone wolf forever lol.  I will continue to set goals, smash them and stay the course. Nor will I ever apologize for becoming bad ass awesome 🐺 Nor for having kick ass abs!!  

    

Novaturient

   Desiring powerful change in one’s life, behavior or situation.. . So much in life can not be controlled.. The temperature in our classroom, the reaction of others and our own feelings. What we can control are our own actions, responses and behaviors. For most of my life I dreaded change.. Feared it. The thought of the unknown scared the crap out of me; it still does but today I embrace it. Look forward to it eagerly. Change means we are alive. Change means new opportunities and adventures. It took me way to long to finally initiate the change in my life I needed but with that change came extra responsibility. I take it on willingly .. Out of love but I’m also doing what I need to do to be strong, brave, bad ass. I no longer am looking to others to save me in this adventure we call life.. In my deep desire to continuously change, grow and live the only life given , I have become my own hero.