Finding Comfort in Your Skin

Pretty amazing week. My son got his first college acceptance letter. Huge relief. Not that I thought he would get in anywhere, but that first letter takes the pressure off.  

Magee some really amazing connections this week with some of my class participants. Tuesday morning Grit Strength went really well. On track with coaching and positive feedback from group. Tuesday Cx good as well. Was told by someone it was there best 30 min of the day. My school group fitness group is growing in size and think everyone is having a positive experience. Most proud of one of my SP participants who is going outside her comfort zone to try new classes. 

Also gaining 3 new Grit classes in Jan. Yet, still question and doubt myself. Comparing myself. Just want to know when I’m going to feel like what I am, what I’m doing is good enough. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I want to feel badass. 

​​Deadlifts help. But want to feel like this all the time. 

Restless Soul

On another note…Bi Polar day. Started out so good. Lifted, military press PR but not deadlift. Following strength plan. Trusting the process. Awesome BODYPUMP class at the J. Really love it there. One of participants was a 73 year old man in amazing shape. Everyone so positive and supportive. Feel like I make a difference there. Actually really sweet people at both RWJ’s too. Both 6am classes going well. 

So not sure why I feel so inadequate. Have to stop comparing my self. I know that. Keep repeating.. I am not them, they are not me..My story, my chapter, my book.. everyone’s story valid and meaningful. Theirs as much as mine. But my restless soul is just that restless.. and alone.

Love Thy Neighbor

Trying to move past the election but here is my list as to why I haven’t got there yet…

1. Taken aback by fact that people don’t think I have an opinion. Yes, I am quiet and usually reserved, and yes I lift weights, lol, but last time I checked my B.A. in Political Science and History and my M. A. in Secondary Education still valid and from acreditted universities not Trump U. 

2. Still disheartened that the public, although not a majority, elected a reality TV persona as President. For those who voted “against the establishment” and for an ” outsider” be prepared for Mike Pence and Paul Ryan to run the show. That is the reality. Can’t get more establishment as that.  Really quite Machiavellian, for Ryan and and far right, the ends justified the means. 

3. The irony of Rudy Juliani and Newt Gingrich trying to pose themselves as the moral backbone of our country and pass judgement on “values”and create policy condemning the morals of others is both laughable and horrifying. Between them they have over 9 wives and committed a multitude of their own sins. Pretty sure adultery is actually condemned in the Bible.  

4. Worse is that I don’t want anything bad to happen to Trump.. Mike Pence is way worse. He actually believes in the things he says. 

Overall kind of scary; the backlash against a black president and rising extremism worldwide. 

And then there is this.. 4 States legalizing marijuana lol. Don’t blame them, guess they were preparing themselves. 

Disgusted: Reap What You Sow: History Matters

I can’t even express how ashamed and disgusted I feel. I imagine this is what some Germans felt like in 1932. We have just witnessed our own Kristalnacht. Just remember that we reap what we sow and we have just become a mockery to the world. We have elected a mysoginistic, sexist, homophobic, and racist to represent the highest office in our country. Sadly, we just can’t learn from past mistakes. 

For the middle class who voted for him, he evaded taxes so that you could pay more. To fathers, he subjugates your daughters to just of the status of meat-to be disrespected, devalued and dehumanized. To immigrants who work hard to support your family so that they could experience the American Dream, he mocks you and takes advantage of your labor and then will deport you to line his pocket.   The world is laughing and afraid. We learn nothing from the past. 

If nothing else, this election has refueled my dying spark for teaching. History matters my friends. And we have learned nothing. You reap what you sow. Words matter. Actions matter. We are accountable for what we think, say and do. 

Our founding fathers imagined us a nation of freedom and liberty. They fought to free themselves of an oppressive monarch who violated their essential freedoms and liberties. A free press, religious freedom and the right to assemble were paramount values, so much so that our Constitution was not ratified until they were ensured. 

Every action has a reaction. If nothing else this election has caused a burned out, public school teacher to recommit, and to refocus my energy. 

But the shame I feel for our country is real. The world laughts at us. Terrorists rejoice at the division this election had caused. Instead of focusing so much of our tax dollars and energy on math and science, maybe we should focus our resources on teaching history. Most of you have no idea what the Magna Carta is. Or that Thomas Jefferson based the ideas of the Declaration of Independence on the English Philosopher John Locke’s Two Treasties of Government. You should. 

You should study history. Learn that the concept of NATO was based off of President Woodrow Wilson’s 14 Point plan, which Congress rejected because the United  States  wanted the country to remain isolated even after WWI and failed to ratify his 14 Point plan.  As a result hatred, bigotry and racism emerge in Europe bringing Adolf Hitler to power and sowed the seeds of the Holocaust. 

You reap what you sow. History matters.