Pushing Your Limits

So we all know I’m a gym addict.. A gym slut. My goal, however,is ever to show any one up of out do them. My competition is always me. Pushing my limits. Seeing how far I can go. My obstacle is my age. I’m a 47 year old surrounded by people in their 20’s. When I was in my 20’s I couldn’t do what that do so the fact I’m attempting to should be enough in itself. But it’s not. Still want to out them.😬😬

The challange is that for many, lifting, training and teaching is their full time priority. For me it comes after my full time job from 7:30am to 2:30pm and currently 4pm because of track. Not getting opportunity to lift heavy because of practice and teaching even though that is the one thing i crave.  A heavy bar. Olympic lifting. 3 more weeks and I’m back at it. 

In the mean time, instructing going very well. Teaching pump and GRIT a lot and really connecting. Subbed for pump last night and one of my layer three cues really landed with someone. So validating. Also connected during GRIT last night and tonight. Told how great class was and how motivating I was. 

This isn’t a brag session. My joy comes from the fact that participants worked really hard and pushed themselves farther than they thought they could go. That is my reward. My goal. I back in their achievement. Doing so pushes my limits. Teaching a format I’m not usually teaching on two hours notice pushes my limits. Stuck with what I’m most comfortable with and executed it well. Focused on coaching and it all went well. 

Yep, yep..

Practicing self/care, self love.  Self preservation. Can’t be good to any one else unless I tske care of me. Pulled back this week. Self checking. Disengaging from my drug of choice.. The person who makes this so real .. Backing away got my own self preservatio; because even though only a one way thing, I manage to still lose myself and become needy. Back just off. Relying on nyself. 

Trying to remember my worth. What j worked for. Assisted, yes, but drive, execution, and commitment mine alone. No one can instill that. That drive comes from within, 

Too Perfect not to Post

At my core I am a jealous,insecure, needy bitch.. This says it perfectly 😬😬

Some Lessons Learned

Yes, yes; what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.. Sometimes. I endure through the gym.. Any gym. 

My “bootcamp” class at Gold’s yesterday was great. Huge class. At the end someone told me they had never done half the stuff I made them do. Felt good that I was able to provide them with a good workout. Stayed for pump. Like to listen to other instructors and watch others reactions to them. Was going to lift after but got talked into going to Starbucks. Glad I did. Learned a little. Especially like fact that my class numbers really  good. And that some appreciates my efforts. 

Today was playtime at the club accept that didn’t eat enough yesterday so had crappy energy level. Disappointed in myself especially when the energizer bunny going at 120%. Now that I teach Sunday’s I don’t have opportunity to take classes like I did.  

Renewed myself with walk with my four footed girl.. If only everyone loved as purely and openly as this girl❤️

Makes hardships endurable. The annoyances..Car repairs, overdue inspections and most of the other crap more bearable with distance.. Enduring real hardships takes much longer.. 20 years of being beaten down, loss on many levels takes more than a new certification to overcome.  Feeling my own worth.. Unpredicated  by someone else’s approval may take a lifetime. But each struggle makes me stronger.. Quoting BodyPump 97 bicep track.. We don’t run.. We don’t back down.. Like a Phoenix .. Got to love Bon Jovi❤️

Never Satisfied

Not the greatest day depending on the point of view.. Elisabeth’s car needed $500 worth of repairs and got a ticket for having an over due inspection. Can’t find the insurence or registration card. Hoping they are in the whirling dervish of mess in her car and of stolen when her car got broken into. 
Micheal failed his driving test because of something stupid. Insists it doesn’t matter any way since he doesn’t have a car anyway. Knife in my heart. 

Then there is my mother.. Thousands of dollars in dental work needed.. Just adding to emotional hot mess that she is. 

So the glass half full perspective.. Car could have cost more if I brought it to dealer; keeping Michael safe a little longer from crazy drivers and I will work on plan to get him a car by end of summer.. Somehow. 

I am teaching a class in the morning at Gold’s. Subbing. First time teaching there. 

Mostly soo happy that my trainer boy realized his dream to become an official Les Mills trainer! He is proof that a dream fueled by hard work, perseverance and grit is achievable. I wouldn’t be teaching if not for him.  Also slowly realizing, because I process things slowly, lol, he will always be my friend.  Schedules, distance , life won’t change that. 

My hard work, perseverance and stubbornness has enabled me to achieve goals I could have never imagined a few years ago. I work hard and give it 100% Sprint training in June and Body Vive training in August. Swear Vive is my last one😉 

Finding Beauty and Joy

 The Little Things  
Still releshing in last night’s workout. There is no better high than feeling like a badass! Albatross!! Releshing my battle scars and everything else about the workout. 

Stepped it back a little today. Taught CXWORX twice but took a half day at school. Had breakfast with my brother who came in last night and who left this morning. Then took my son to school. Even enjoyed the sunshine by walking on the track a school before heading in. 

Love my kids. Can’t express how rewarding it was reading some of their DBQ’s. For the first time I felt like they really got it! All the pieces fell into place. Get that same feeling when teaching pump. That too falling into place. Slowly. One class at a time. 

GRIT Tuesday also felt great. Knew the workout and for me that is what everything else flows from. 

If only I had that kind of control over all parts of my life. That I didnt sabotage the good by being so self destructive. If only I could conquer the demon. The one so in need of control and perfection.  The one that rears its head after I feel a sense of accomplishment in order to put me back in my place I’m so vey cliche. So text book study. Youngest child, only daughter of an alcoholic parent. My need for control has been a spector my entire life. The irony is that control will never be a reality. Still it’s been a long fought war. It won tonight. Still holding out hope that one day I can conquer this too. 

Do Epic Shit

  Epic Shit!! That is my training session! Epic❤️❤️❤️!! Getting to double up this week because of last week’s bootcamp. I’ll never be able to put into words the euphoria I feel when training with C. Don’t get me wrong, I push myself hard when I workout alone and when I teach. But still not the same level in any way compared to my training sessions. 
I aspire one day to be as motivating and talented a trainer. But connecting with people is a gift. That connection, trust, unwavering support and kick in the ass is what makes each session something I long for. Even at 9pm, after a full day at school, track practice, and teaching Pump, I eagerly waited for my happy hour🏋☺️. It goes by way to fast. Wish I could bottle the feeling I have while trying so that I can feel that good all the time. 

  Tonight’s war wounds. Miscalculated a box jump lol. Shook it off andfinished the   last 5 reps of the set.  So worth it!! 

Me.. LOL

Sums it up  

Empty Achievements

  Pump AIM 1 Done

  I should be happy. This weekend went very well. Rave 9 awesome and my Pump AIM 1 rocked. Got great feedback and day felt good. But at end of the day if there is no one to share it with doesn’t really matter.

I am proud of my accomplishments and I find joy in the process but once the goal or challenge accomplished, the emptiness returns.   

My Time.. Pump Time

AIM 1   
 This is my time. Body Pump my drug! Never feel better than when a bar in my hands. Going to own every moment. Chest tall, feet wide, shoulders up, back and down. Yes, I will also be a sponge. Soaking up everything, every kernel, every ounce of knowledge. To become fitter, stronger, to raise the bar!💪🏋

Awake

Wish I wasnt😔😔 weekend in progress. 
Soo tired! Body and mind, yet here I am at 2:46am .. Awake😔

Rave 9 was very good! Glad I went even though alone. So much change in progress though so I feel disjointed. Couldn’t get enough oxygen during GRIT Plyo. Part allergies part the program😁 Combat rocked the house. Made a split second decision to take Flow instead of Sprint. Not sure I would have made it through 3 hard core cardio classes in a row and haven’t had a chance to flow this week. Listening to my body. My 47 year old body. Cried during meditation😭

 Was inspired by fact that many of master trainers there were close  to my age and still killing it. I too don’t look to bad 

 And then their was Body Pump💪💪🏋. My favorite bar! My drug of choice. Happy hour. Awed by Justin Thomas Sanchez. Such great coaching. Said so many great things in CX track also.  

 The 2.5 hour ride home sucked especially after 4 hours of classes. So yes, I should be sleeping. Wish I was sleeping😔😔 but not. 

Teaching CX tomorrow at RWJ SP. Then squatting and watching Pump master class. Getting ready for Sunday’s AIM 1. Might even take Daisy to the park for a walk.  

 That face! She is way too much and just thinking about her relaxes me and makes me smile🐶☺️