Not even sure last time I posted. Last few months kind of crazy. Crazy difficult, crazy good, and just plain crazy.

As I approach a new decade trying to challenge myself mentally and physically, as well as searching for the ever evasive sense of peace while balancing family, school, and other stuff.

After 2 years of prodding, finally encouraged my siblings to talk my dad into assisted living. He is out of state, in his 80’s and in compromised health. It was really about convincing him he needed to move. Way too long a story, but in the end he accepted move and is happy. Still issues to deal with and thankfully my brother and sister in law dealing with most of details. Because I have our mom. Full time. 24/7.

Probably one of most difficult things has been discovering how human and frail she is. Honestly, she has endured more pain and suffering than most from an extremely young age. But only in last few years have I realized how much her childhood and marriage to my father has damaged her. Could really write a book about her life. It would be turned into a bestseller and then mini series for sure. Makes me love, appreciate, and miss my step father even more. His patience and love had no boundaries.

At same time, my college freshman son sowing his oats and now facing consequences. Of course I’m also paying the emotional and financial costs of his youthful mistakes. But this is really what I wanted and knew would happen. He has undergone so many changes in last few years and I blew up his safe world when I could no longer stay married to his dad. But he is finding his way and learning life lessons. Yes, I will always be there to pick up the pieces. But process exhausting.

Then there is battle being fought by my oldest and closest friend. So blessed to have this women in my life for last 30+ years. Cancer sucks. Only wish I had an iota of the courage she has. Compared to her I am weak and frail. The only good from this is that it propelled me to reach beyond my comfort zone and risk failure. Defined my purpose. Fitness has become my vocation and passion. Teaching/coaching Les Mills programs has given me a new lease on life. BODYPUMP the gateway to my fitness transformation. But last week I finally took my ACE personal training exam and passed. My pipe dream became finally a reality. My ultimate goal is to become a certified cancer exercise specialist. Step one accomplished. Going to spend next six months honing my training skills and then will focus on that goal.

And because I always need to keep moving and challenging myself going to BODYCOMBAT training this weekend. Again, so fucking crazy. I cried and walked out of first class I took 4 years ago. But I kept going back. Rhythm and coordination not my strengths but yet I’m going for it because of how it makes me feel. Bad Ass. Fierce. Free. Difficult yes. Challenging yes. But this is what life should be about. Living. Challenging yourself. Never being complacent.

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